Fat Me Getting Cock

I find it weird being in a relationship while I am fat. As you know if you have read my blogs and my ravings, I go through stages putting on eight (Fat Me) and losing it (Slim Me). I’ve rarely had a relationship while I am fat. Normally I just can’t handle it. My self esteem and self image hits rock bottom and I just hate myself too mcuh to let a man see me naked or even just look at me.

So it’s a really weird feeling being in a full on relationship, like going out and doing things when I am Fat Me. The really odd thing is Rod really seems to like me this way. He hasn’t said he’s into Fat Chicks only that he prefers rubenesque women which is just a fancy way to say he’s into fat chicks.  But if he really is into fat chicks then he’ll know from experience telling a woman he is into fat chicks is the kiss of death. hahaha.

It’s a bit like a roller coaster ride this relationship. Most of the time I hate myself but Rod seems to dig my body so much that at times I am high on it. But every time I see myself naked I shudder with disgust. I hate Fat Me. I hate my thighs, my ass and my stomach. I love Slim me. The trim, taut, firm hard, slim me. The tight ass, muscled legs, firm breasts and flat stomach. But Fat Me seems to be the dominant me. I’m fat more than I’m slim.

It’s also really weird fucking when I’m fat. I don’t understand how any guy can be into it. Why any guy would prefer a fat woman to a slim one. Oh, I’ve had a few desperadoes fuck me when I’m fat but that is so different. You can tell they’re not into you, just desperate for a fuck. But Rod is different. he really is really into Fat Me.

He loves running his hands over my body, my big fat tits, my stomahc, my ass and my thighs. When we fuck from  behind he likes to hold my big, fat stomach and my tbig fat round its when he fucks me. When we fuck with him on top, he likes to grab my ass.

I always start off feeling very nervous. Ashamed of my naked body. It takes a long while for me to relax and I need to be reassured that he is still into me and not just desperate for a fuck. Every time. Sometimes right in the middle of a fuck I’ll have a relapse and just shrivel up inside. Like when he’s fucking me doggy and I hear the splotch splotch splotch of his pelvis slamming into my big fat, soft ass. I hate that sound.

It’s just as bad when we go out. I hate being seen in public when I’m fat with a man. I always think people are talking. What’s a normal looking guy like him doing witht hat fat chick. He can do better. That kind of thing.

So I’ve taken to wearing long skirts to cover my fatness, jackets to cover my fat ass and outits that reveal cleavage to draw attention to my best feature when I’m fat. My tits. I gotta admit I like my tits when I’m fat. They change shape when I put on weight. They get rounder, bigger, heavier, and they jiggle a lot.  When I lose weight they get smaller but firmer. Nah, I don’t really know which I prefer. I love my big fat tits but I love my small firm tits too.

Rod loves fucking my big fat tits. Hahaha So do I. I just LOVE the feeling of a hard, stiff cock sliding in between my tits. I can completely wrap my fat tits around his cock. Make it disappear. Hahaha. I love the way his cock feels sliding on my ribs below and my tits above.  We do it two ways. I lie on my back and he straddles my chest and I push my tits up and hold themover his cock, completely enveloping his cock. I bend my head down as far as I can and keep my mouth open so I can suck his cock at the end of his thrust. I can do that when he tit-fucks me slowly but he usually gets carried away and likes to fuck my tits fast. I love the way he cums on my throat. The way it feels when it hits my throat and under my chin.

The other way I kneel down and he stands in front of me and I push my tits up and around his cock and he sort of bends at the knee and rives his cock up between my tits. This way is better for me to suck his cock. He usually fucks me slower this way and lets his cock hesitate inside my mouth at the end of each thrust. I love watching his cock magically appear from between my tits, then slip into my mouth.  Sometimes we’ll finish off with a face fuck and he’ll cum in my mouth.

He loves touching my body though. Even when I suck him off he tries so hard to get to my tits, my back, anything eh can reach. When I am on my knees sucking him off and he is standing he stretches into impossible positions to get to my tits. Most guys just grab my head and move my head back and forth and some guys lean back with their hands on their hips. God I hate that. Hahaha. Head flung back, pelvis thrust out and hands on hips. They look ridiculous. I liek it best when they hold my head and just gently guide my head back and forth. What I really lvoe is when we’ve been fucking for a while and have got our shit together, when the guy fucks my mouth like it was a cunt. Just in and out Oh Yeah that’s good. But most guys can’t do it right. They get too carried away and start ramming their cock down my throat. Makes me gag. I don’t normally gag if I’m in control but if they take me by surprise with a sudden throiat thrust I do. And it’s a turn off.

I lik efucking Rod. He’s a good fuck. Maybe a little intense but that’s better than a little detached. He’s into most things I am. He loves going down on me really savaging my cunt with his mouth, using everything – tongue, lips, teeth.  And giving me the treatment from my asshole to my clit but always favouring my clit. But I still feel very, very uncomfortable with him doing that whiole I’m fat. I am absolutely terrified I will be all sweaty and smelly down there. I don’t THINK I am but when you’re fat it’s always a risk. So I can’t handle him going down on me until I am really turned on and don’t give a fuck if I’ve got a smelly cunt. Hahaha

He likes caressing me all over my body. I like that. He runs his hands and fingers all over me and his tongue as well, kissing and licking every inch of me. He does that after we’ve fucked and it usually leads to another fuck session.  He likes cumming ON me which I like too. A lot of guys can’t or just don’t do it. They seem to have to fight this urge to have their cock deep inside me when they cum. Just about every guy I’ve fucked tries as hard as possible, it’s almost pathetic really, to get their cock as deep as possible in my cunt just before they cum.

I think related to this is most guys don’t like to wank in front of a woman. So they wait til the last possible moment to take their cock out and finish of by wanking, afraid I’ll see them jerking off. Hahaha. If only they knew what a turn on it is. Not just any guy jerking off of course, but watching your lover jerk off and watching his cum spurt out is a real turn on. Atleast for me. Rod has no hangups at all with me watching him jerk off and cum. He actually seems to enjoy jerking off watching my naked body, fat and disgusting though it is.

Rod is into anal sex but sadly he’s not much good at that. Rod is one of those guys that’s just  a mad fucker. He only knows one way to fuck and that’s full on, as deep, hard and fast as possible and you can’t do anal that way. And sadly he just doesn’t get that. Sad because I love it up the ass. A cock in your ass is ten times as intense as a cock in your cunt. And an anal orgasm is ten times as intense as a cunt orgasm. I try to get him to slow down but it’s impossible.

I can remember when anal sex was such a big thing for guys. It was something you kept for a special moment. And guys would get so fucking e xcited about it. But not so much  now. I think just about everyone is doing it now and it’s no longer the big thing it used to be. Shame. Is nothing special anymore?

Rod’s very much into body fucking. Between the tits, in the crack of my ass,  between my thighs, on my stomach even just rubbing his cock on my thighs or stomach or my back. But noit just a casual rubbing more like he’s trying to fuck. It’s pretty cool really. I lvoe the feel of a stiff, hard cock sliding up and down the crack of my ass. Oh God, that’s good.  especially rubbing on my asshole without entering it and of course, rubbing on my clit and to a lesser extent my cunt flaps.  When he rubs his cock on my thighs and stomach I don’t mind it and when he does it on my back that is really weird but in a nice way.

Rod’s favourite way to fuck is with me standing up leaning over, usually by the window with me holding onto the window sill. He gets behind me, puts one hand on my stomach, one on my tits and tries to get underneath me and thrust upwards. It’s very fucking hot. Hahaha.  Sometimes I have different favourite positions wiht differnet guys but with Rod it’s my normal favourite. Doggy, hard and fast. I like to thrust my ass backwards, toss my head, and really get into it.

He’s got a nice cock, thank God. Hahaha. I hate it when I’m really into a guy and he’s got an ugly cock. And some of them are. ugly. Really ugly. Especially the uncut ones. Most guys are uncut these days and that’s a shame because I much prefer a nice cut cock. Older guys are usually cut and that’s one bonus fucking an older guy. Ron is cut and that’s strange for a guy his age. They just look so much nicer. They look cleaner too. God,. you never know whats hiding under that big foreskin do you? Ewwww. That’s my biggest turn off with an uncut cock. That you’ll peel it back and ewwww. Hasn’t been washed under there for months. Ewwwww. Double ewwww.

His body is OK. Nothing fantastic but mnost guys aren’t. There’s not many guys in good shape. At least not the ones that end up between my legs. Hahaha. Nah most of them are pretty ordinary, just don’t give a fuck about their bodies. But of course a hot looking guy is no guarantee he’ll be  a hot fuck.

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