Archive for February, 2011

Fat Me Getting Cock

Monday, February 28th, 2011

I find it weird being in a relationship while I am fat. As you know if you have read my blogs and my ravings, I go through stages putting on eight (Fat Me) and losing it (Slim Me). I’ve rarely had a relationship while I am fat. Normally I just can’t handle it. My self esteem and self image hits rock bottom and I just hate myself too mcuh to let a man see me naked or even just look at me.

So it’s a really weird feeling being in a full on relationship, like going out and doing things when I am Fat Me. The really odd thing is Rod really seems to like me this way. He hasn’t said he’s into Fat Chicks only that he prefers rubenesque women which is just a fancy way to say he’s into fat chicks.  But if he really is into fat chicks then he’ll know from experience telling a woman he is into fat chicks is the kiss of death. hahaha.

It’s a bit like a roller coaster ride this relationship. Most of the time I hate myself but Rod seems to dig my body so much that at times I am high on it. But every time I see myself naked I shudder with disgust. I hate Fat Me. I hate my thighs, my ass and my stomach. I love Slim me. The trim, taut, firm hard, slim me. The tight ass, muscled legs, firm breasts and flat stomach. But Fat Me seems to be the dominant me. I’m fat more than I’m slim.

It’s also really weird fucking when I’m fat. I don’t understand how any guy can be into it. Why any guy would prefer a fat woman to a slim one. Oh, I’ve had a few desperadoes fuck me when I’m fat but that is so different. You can tell they’re not into you, just desperate for a fuck. But Rod is different. he really is really into Fat Me.

He loves running his hands over my body, my big fat tits, my stomahc, my ass and my thighs. When we fuck from  behind he likes to hold my big, fat stomach and my tbig fat round its when he fucks me. When we fuck with him on top, he likes to grab my ass.

I always start off feeling very nervous. Ashamed of my naked body. It takes a long while for me to relax and I need to be reassured that he is still into me and not just desperate for a fuck. Every time. Sometimes right in the middle of a fuck I’ll have a relapse and just shrivel up inside. Like when he’s fucking me doggy and I hear the splotch splotch splotch of his pelvis slamming into my big fat, soft ass. I hate that sound.

It’s just as bad when we go out. I hate being seen in public when I’m fat with a man. I always think people are talking. What’s a normal looking guy like him doing witht hat fat chick. He can do better. That kind of thing.

So I’ve taken to wearing long skirts to cover my fatness, jackets to cover my fat ass and outits that reveal cleavage to draw attention to my best feature when I’m fat. My tits. I gotta admit I like my tits when I’m fat. They change shape when I put on weight. They get rounder, bigger, heavier, and they jiggle a lot.  When I lose weight they get smaller but firmer. Nah, I don’t really know which I prefer. I love my big fat tits but I love my small firm tits too.

Rod loves fucking my big fat tits. Hahaha So do I. I just LOVE the feeling of a hard, stiff cock sliding in between my tits. I can completely wrap my fat tits around his cock. Make it disappear. Hahaha. I love the way his cock feels sliding on my ribs below and my tits above.  We do it two ways. I lie on my back and he straddles my chest and I push my tits up and hold themover his cock, completely enveloping his cock. I bend my head down as far as I can and keep my mouth open so I can suck his cock at the end of his thrust. I can do that when he tit-fucks me slowly but he usually gets carried away and likes to fuck my tits fast. I love the way he cums on my throat. The way it feels when it hits my throat and under my chin.

The other way I kneel down and he stands in front of me and I push my tits up and around his cock and he sort of bends at the knee and rives his cock up between my tits. This way is better for me to suck his cock. He usually fucks me slower this way and lets his cock hesitate inside my mouth at the end of each thrust. I love watching his cock magically appear from between my tits, then slip into my mouth.  Sometimes we’ll finish off with a face fuck and he’ll cum in my mouth.

He loves touching my body though. Even when I suck him off he tries so hard to get to my tits, my back, anything eh can reach. When I am on my knees sucking him off and he is standing he stretches into impossible positions to get to my tits. Most guys just grab my head and move my head back and forth and some guys lean back with their hands on their hips. God I hate that. Hahaha. Head flung back, pelvis thrust out and hands on hips. They look ridiculous. I liek it best when they hold my head and just gently guide my head back and forth. What I really lvoe is when we’ve been fucking for a while and have got our shit together, when the guy fucks my mouth like it was a cunt. Just in and out Oh Yeah that’s good. But most guys can’t do it right. They get too carried away and start ramming their cock down my throat. Makes me gag. I don’t normally gag if I’m in control but if they take me by surprise with a sudden throiat thrust I do. And it’s a turn off.

I lik efucking Rod. He’s a good fuck. Maybe a little intense but that’s better than a little detached. He’s into most things I am. He loves going down on me really savaging my cunt with his mouth, using everything – tongue, lips, teeth.  And giving me the treatment from my asshole to my clit but always favouring my clit. But I still feel very, very uncomfortable with him doing that whiole I’m fat. I am absolutely terrified I will be all sweaty and smelly down there. I don’t THINK I am but when you’re fat it’s always a risk. So I can’t handle him going down on me until I am really turned on and don’t give a fuck if I’ve got a smelly cunt. Hahaha

He likes caressing me all over my body. I like that. He runs his hands and fingers all over me and his tongue as well, kissing and licking every inch of me. He does that after we’ve fucked and it usually leads to another fuck session.  He likes cumming ON me which I like too. A lot of guys can’t or just don’t do it. They seem to have to fight this urge to have their cock deep inside me when they cum. Just about every guy I’ve fucked tries as hard as possible, it’s almost pathetic really, to get their cock as deep as possible in my cunt just before they cum.

I think related to this is most guys don’t like to wank in front of a woman. So they wait til the last possible moment to take their cock out and finish of by wanking, afraid I’ll see them jerking off. Hahaha. If only they knew what a turn on it is. Not just any guy jerking off of course, but watching your lover jerk off and watching his cum spurt out is a real turn on. Atleast for me. Rod has no hangups at all with me watching him jerk off and cum. He actually seems to enjoy jerking off watching my naked body, fat and disgusting though it is.

Rod is into anal sex but sadly he’s not much good at that. Rod is one of those guys that’s just  a mad fucker. He only knows one way to fuck and that’s full on, as deep, hard and fast as possible and you can’t do anal that way. And sadly he just doesn’t get that. Sad because I love it up the ass. A cock in your ass is ten times as intense as a cock in your cunt. And an anal orgasm is ten times as intense as a cunt orgasm. I try to get him to slow down but it’s impossible.

I can remember when anal sex was such a big thing for guys. It was something you kept for a special moment. And guys would get so fucking e xcited about it. But not so much  now. I think just about everyone is doing it now and it’s no longer the big thing it used to be. Shame. Is nothing special anymore?

Rod’s very much into body fucking. Between the tits, in the crack of my ass,  between my thighs, on my stomach even just rubbing his cock on my thighs or stomach or my back. But noit just a casual rubbing more like he’s trying to fuck. It’s pretty cool really. I lvoe the feel of a stiff, hard cock sliding up and down the crack of my ass. Oh God, that’s good.  especially rubbing on my asshole without entering it and of course, rubbing on my clit and to a lesser extent my cunt flaps.  When he rubs his cock on my thighs and stomach I don’t mind it and when he does it on my back that is really weird but in a nice way.

Rod’s favourite way to fuck is with me standing up leaning over, usually by the window with me holding onto the window sill. He gets behind me, puts one hand on my stomach, one on my tits and tries to get underneath me and thrust upwards. It’s very fucking hot. Hahaha.  Sometimes I have different favourite positions wiht differnet guys but with Rod it’s my normal favourite. Doggy, hard and fast. I like to thrust my ass backwards, toss my head, and really get into it.

He’s got a nice cock, thank God. Hahaha. I hate it when I’m really into a guy and he’s got an ugly cock. And some of them are. ugly. Really ugly. Especially the uncut ones. Most guys are uncut these days and that’s a shame because I much prefer a nice cut cock. Older guys are usually cut and that’s one bonus fucking an older guy. Ron is cut and that’s strange for a guy his age. They just look so much nicer. They look cleaner too. God,. you never know whats hiding under that big foreskin do you? Ewwww. That’s my biggest turn off with an uncut cock. That you’ll peel it back and ewwww. Hasn’t been washed under there for months. Ewwwww. Double ewwww.

His body is OK. Nothing fantastic but mnost guys aren’t. There’s not many guys in good shape. At least not the ones that end up between my legs. Hahaha. Nah most of them are pretty ordinary, just don’t give a fuck about their bodies. But of course a hot looking guy is no guarantee he’ll be  a hot fuck.

Fat and Feeling Horny

Friday, February 25th, 2011

I’m fat again. I put my 12 lbs back on and now I’m back to the old fat me. I don’t know if the real me is the fat me or the hot me.  Whether i’m normally hot and slim and just put on weight every now and then or I’m really fat me and just lsoe weight every now and then. I’ve always been like this. Weight up and down. No idea why. Not really.

The thing is when I do put on weight, Fat Me doesn’t get horny. Well Fat Me wanks and fantasizes but doesn’t go out and get laid. Hahaha. I just feel so embaressed and disgusted and can’t stand the thought of another person seeing me like that. I look at my naked body in the mirror and think ewww nobody would want to fuck that.

It’s a lot more complex than that. I should probably get some therapy about my self esteem and body image issues.

But now for the first time in my lfie (well maybe not the FIRST time) I am fat and feeling horny and being well fucked. I met this guy ROD! hahaha and thats how i say his name not Rod, RODDD!!!  And he loves giving me his ROD. hahaha

I was having a few drinks with some friends and feeling  bit low. I always get depressed when I get fat. Fat Me is very boring and dull. This guy came over and started talking to us as they do you know. In bars.  My friends didn’t like him though and they got up to dance and left me and him. I thought he’d go when they did but he moved over next to me and started talking to me.  I really wasn’t interested. I just thought,., like I always do when some guy makes a move on Fat Me that he is just some sad guy so desperate for a fuck that he’ll fuck even me.

I was just ignoring him. I wasn’t feeling horny, wasn’t interested, and was feeling too depressed to make an effort to even be polite.  But he seemed really interested in me. Not in a desperate way. Like there were plenty of other women in the bar bbut he seemed fixated on me.  After a whiel I thought he was actually being very nice and he told me I looked like I could do with a friend and I almsot burst into  tears.  Not really a friend just … dunno. Maybe just someone to be nice to me.

So I thought he’s too nice to be horrible to so I started talking too him. So there we were blah blah blah and next thing I know I’m telling him about Fat Me and Slim Me and he said he likes me fine the way I am and I said No No bullshit and he says No No I LOVE rubenesque women. That made me laugh. I said thats just a nice way of saying fat. And he said no fat is when your as wide as you are high. And I laughed and said Now that IS fucking fat. And we both laughed.

Cut a long story short. Back at my place in my bedroom. Now I’ve got him here and want to fuck him so badly but I’m frozen. I’m just so embaressed and totally regretting bringing him home. But see we pashed in the bar and outside and he moaned and felt me up and did all the thigns that made me think he really wanted to fuck me but now the time had come and I was just … embaressed about being so fat.

Rod was great. He said lets turn all the lights off and he ran around my unit turning everything off then pulled the curtains over in my bedroom and we were in like pitch black. Fuck it was dark. Hahaha. I felt better already. So I was standing there wondering what to do and wondering where Rod was. I eman it was really pitch black. I couldn’t see a fucking thing.

He said out of the blackness. “Ohhh Mary.” and I said “Oh Yeah” and giggled. I was a teeny bit tipsy. Hahaha. And I headed towards the sound of his voice and bumped into him.  I put my hands out and they both felt a naked chest. I thought. he’s taken his shirt off. I ran my hands down his side and felt bare ches, bare thighs, and I thoguht hes naked. Iw as shocked but I giggled and he laughed out loud. I felt around and touched his cock and let go like it was red hot. I couldn’t stop laughing.

The he grabbed my hand and guided it to his cock. It felt so warm in my hand. Warm and hard and thick. About average length. It felt funny doing this in complete darkness. I couldn’t even see a black form or anything. just blackness all around. He kissed me, driving his tongue deep into my mouth confidently and desperately. I staretd wanking his cock as we kissed and I was thrusting my tongue into his mouth, our tongues darting in and out of each others mouths, our lips pressed hard against each other. Our mouths open.

He reached down and lifted up my dress and put his hand inside my panties and felt up, fingering my clit and my cunt flaps. The he slid his middle finger into my cunt hole. I felt the tip of his finger pressing on my cunt hole, then felt the gentle rpessure of my cunt resisting and finally his finger sliding into the wetness. He fingerfucked me as I jerked him off and we kissed.

Then he took my hand off his cock and moved forward guiding his cock to my cunt, lifting up my skirt and pulling down my panties. ghis cock slid in between my legs and he started sliding it in and out rubbing between my legs, the upper side of his cock rubbing hard on my clit and my cunt flaps, forced up by the elastic in my panties. His cock felt so good sliding between my thighs, wet now with my cunt juice, and rubbing on my clit and cunt flaps.

He started undressing me as he fucked me between my thighs, blouse off, bra off, tits swinging out and down, struggling to find the zipper on my skirt, me helping him, skirt sliding down my legs and hitting the floor, cool air on my suddenly naked body, then my panties sliding over my ass and down my thighs. Then I was naked. His cock still sliding in between my thighs, his mouth clamped on mine and our tongues tongue fuckign each other in the mouth.

The his hands were all over my body, my breasts, squeezing, kneading, stretching, plams on my hard nipples, then my stomach, my back, my thihgs as low down as he could reach, then back up. then he took his mouth away from mine and clamped his mouth onto my tit. He sucked a great chunk of my tit inot his mouth and sucked it hard as he puleld his head back, stretching my tit with equisite, gentle pain. He gripped my nipple with his teeth and pulled his head back, stretching my nipple and my tit and I fle this teeth drag over my nipple as it slowly slid out from between his hard teeth. I moaned deeply.

I dropped to my knees, grabbed his cock in both hands and took it in my mouth,, I sucked it furiously, I was so fucking excited, so fucking turned on.  I bit on his cock, my teeth just past the head, and sucked it as ahrd as I could making him moan now. Long and low and mournful. Then I moved my lips along his cock until I felt his pubic hair on my lips and further till his whole cock was in my mouth and down my throat. I grabbed his ass and pulled him to me forcing his cock in even more, his pubic hair tickling my nose. Then I slowly dragged my lips back along his cock.

He took hold of my head and began moving my head back and forth as he fucked my mouth. Moving his cock in and out like it was a cunt.  His cock would go in all the way right up to the hilt as he pulled my head in, thne it would slide out as he pulled away. He was moaning and groaning a lot now and i like that. I like it when a man makes a lot of noise. His cock felt great in my mouth. I was loving it. I love sucking cock.

But he started tog et over excited and shoving his cock too far into my mouth well not too far in but unexpectedly. I need to control that. He was making me gag on his cock and that was getting him all the more excited. I had to stop it. gagging on a hard cock in your throat can be a real turn off. I pulled my head away and he half pushed, half guided me to the ebd and pushged me back on it and dived for my cunt.

I stopped his head with my hands and I said no.  I don’t like anyone going down on me when I’m fat. I’m terrified my cunt will be all sweaty and smelly and my inner thighs will be all sweaty too. He pushed my hands away and I said NO louder and grabbed his arms. Then he stood abck, lunged at me, grabbed my ankles and nearly yanked me off the ebd. I ened up wiht my ass half hanging off the bed and he pushed my ankles up in the air andover until my knees were beside my head and he lunged at my cunt wiht hsi mouth.

I screamed, actually screamed when he did that and then his mouth, all wet and hungry was on my cunt, he sucked up great chunks of my cunt flaps into his mouth and sucked hard. Real hard. He sucked my clit and nibbled and  chewed on it and I was moaning, groaning, squirming, twisting and maybe yelling. My legs were bent over my body and I really couldn’t move much and my cunt was pointing at the ceiling. He ravaged my cunt wiht his mouth. Sucking, licking, chewing, nibbling, biting,  plunging his tongue deep into my cunthole, my wet, slippery, hot cunthole.He lciked me from my asshole to my clit voer and over back and forth, plunging his tongue into my cunt hole, stopping to chew, nibble and bite my cunt flaps and my clit now and then.

It was driving me crazy. I was trembling and shaking and I came and came and came. Wriggling and squirming and unable to move more than a few inches.

Just when I thought I was going to go completelu looney, he stood up, stretched my legs far apart and plunged his cock into my cunt. Deep. All the way in. He rammed it in right up to the hilt. Then  he fucked me like a madman. Ramming his cock deep into my cunt, holding my legs wide apart mby the ankles. I was moaning and groaning and turning my head from side to side.

He was fucking me as hard and fast and deep as I thought it was humanly possible, but I still said “Fuck me harder. Deeper. fzuck me deeper.” He sure tried.  He spread my legs even further apart and the wider apart my legs were the deeper he went.

Then he stopped and dragged me round in a circle on the bed by the ankles around till I was over on the other side of the bed near the window. He let go of one ankle and reach ebhind him to pull the curtains open.  The light from the street flooded in casting a pale blue light over my body. I could see my tits, big and round and flat on my chest  with my nipples looking really dark and the slight bulge of my fat stomach. He stood there looking at me wiht his cock still inside me and said “You’re so fucking beautiful.” I thought No I’m so fucking fat and disgusting.

he put hsi hands on the ebd beside my chest and leaned over me. he said “I want to watch you while I fuck you.” Oh God, that turned me on. I just said “fuck me. Fuck me hard.” And he did. Long, deep, powerful thrusts that rammed my insides and jekred my body up and down on the bed.

The n he dragged me off the bed and made me stand up so the lgiht coming in from the window  was on me. I felt so exposed. He cupped one tit with hsi left hand and cupped my fat belly wiht the other and bent me over standing up. He forced my legs apart wiht his knees until I was standing up, bent over at the waist, legs wide apart. He let go of my stomach and guised his cock into my cunt and started fucking me again. It was fucking DIVINE. His hands on my tits and my stomach moving up and down from tit to stomach, his cock rammming into my cunt hole, his pelvis slamming into my fat ass with a wet, splotchy, slapping sound.

I moved around while he kept fucking me until I could rest my hands on the window sill. I got a shock when I looked out and saw people and cars moving on the street below. He was fuckign me so ahrd my body jerked up and forward every time he rammed his cock into me. My tits were jiggling and bouncing around like mad things under his hands. And all the time this splotch splotch splotch, wet slapping spound as his pelvis slammed into my fat ass, wet now with my cunt juice.

I held onto the window sill for dear life, afraid that he was going to ram me right out the window he was slamming into me so hard. I braced against the window sill and thrust my ass backwards to meet his thrusts. We slammed into each other and every time he thrust I felt his cock plunge deep, deep into my cunt.

We fucked for ages. It seemed like ages. On and on. Grunting like pigs, both of us. Every time he rammed his cock into me he made this really loud grunt. UGH! It was like UGH! UGH! UGH! and I was like UGH! UGH! UGH! with some moaning and groaning thrown in. I was thrusitng my ass backwards like a crazy woman. He was grabbing and squeezing my tits and my stomach and ramming his cock into me. Then  unbelievably he started fucking me even faster. Crazy fast. impossibly fast.  In amongst the grunts he said “I’m gonna cum.” and without thinking I desperately said “Cum on my tits.”

He stopped fucking me and spun me around to face him, so fast he made me giddy. I dropped to my knees and he poked his cock at my tits and started jerking off like a madman. I pushed my tits together and forced them up against his cock. His cock went between my tits and his fist, closed over his cock slmammed into them as he jerked off. He groaned really loud, a long drawn out groan as I felt his cum, warm and sticky shoot out between my tits and run down between them. I held them together tightly around his cock as he spurted his cum in between them. He let go of his cock and I felt it slide up between my tits all covered in cum. So slippery.

I held his cock and rubbed his cum onto my tit. All over my tits, spreading it all over them wiht hsi cock. I used his cock to rub his cum all over my tits, especially my nipples, he sighed as I rubbed the tip of his cock on my nipple.  My tits were glistening wet with his cum in the pale blue light from the street outside. All wet and glistening. I took his cock in my mouth and sucked the cum off it and saw it come out all glistening wet and clean, covered now in my saliva.

Then he dropped to his knees and looked in my face and said “You’re fucking amazing.” I pushed my right tit up with my right hand and bent my head forward, poking out my tongue to lick his cum off my tits. I watched him while I licked his cum off my tit and saw his eyes grow WIDE. His mouth opened wide but he said nothing. I licked my tit all over as far as I could reach then I slowly and deliberately sucked my nipple. Then I did my other tit. Now both my tits were almsot free of cum and glistening wiht my saliva.

I looked at him, worried he might freak out, but when I get turned on I do crazy things like that.  But he just leaned over and bent down and started licking up his cum from the underside of my tits where I couldn’t reach with my tongue. It was such an incredibly erotic sight. Watching Rod licking his own cum off my tits.

I have never had such a fantastic fuck when I am Fat Me. Never. It was fucking amazing.

We lay in bed afterwards and talked for hours. He kept telling me how much he lvoed my body, how sexy I was, what a great fuck I was and all the things a woman loves to hear. We lay naked on top of the covers and talked and the whole time he caressed every part of my body, hands and fingertips caressing and exploring my thighs, my ass, my stomach, my tits, my back. It was sublime.

I played with his body too. He was average build, slim but not skinny, soft but not fat, hairy chest, hairy legs but not too hairy.  I played wiht his cock and his balls and his ass while we talked and when his cock was half hard agian I sucked it slowly and gently until it was completely  hard again.  We fucked again but slowly, prolonging it, revelling in the feel of each others bodies. We fucked missionary wiht his watching my face while he fucked me, then doggy but stopped when that looked like getting out of control.

Then without suggesting or asking, he straddled my chest and I automatically cupped my breats around his cock and he fucked me between the tits.  I find that incredibly erotic. He looked down at me the whole time and we exchanged  smiles the whole time.  Every now and then we’d stop and he’d rub his cock all over my tits, pressing my nipples, rubbing it up and down on my tits, then he’d put it back on my chest between my tits and I’d force my tits over, pushing them up from the sides to envelope his cock in a warm slippery blanket of tit.

He slid his cock up and down my chest, covered in tits, fucking me between the tits. I watched the head of his cock poke out from between my tits and I’d poke out my tongue and try to lick it as it poked out.  I bent my head voer as far as I could and each time his cock poked out it went into my mouth and I’d suck it hard and it made a popping noise as it popped out to slide back down between my tits, then it would slide along my chest under my tits to poke back out right into my willing eager mouth.

He came suddenly, his cum spurting up to hit my throat and the underside of my chin, and he moved up and forward and I opened my mouth hungrily, eagerly to let him finish cumming in my mouth. I swallowed his cum as it pumped into my mouth, feeling the warm, salty, sticky cum on my tongue and my teeth and feeling it dribble on my lips and my chin. I licked it and sucked it in and swallowed it.  Then he leaned down and gently pushed my head u to expose my nbeck and he licked his cum off my throat and the underside of my chin. It felt so incredibly erotic and sexy and I grabbed my clit and rubbed it frantically while he lciked his cum off my throat and under my chin.

He was sucking my nipple when I came. I lost time. He was lciking my throat and chin and the next thing I knew I was having an orgasm and his mouth was clamped tight on my left nipple, his hand scrunching up my tit and his other hand over the top of my hand that was frantically rubbing my clit.

Then we fell asleep.

In the morning I felt terribly embaressed and snuck into the shower while he slept. But I ran into him as I left the shower. We were both naked and I was mortified for him to see Fat Me naked in daylight but his cock shot up the INSTANT he saw my naked body. We fucked in broad daylight wiht my fat gut jiggling around disgustingly and my big fat tits wobbling, bouncing and jiggling all over the place. We fucked doggy wiht his pelvis slamming into my fat wobbly ass and I didn’t give a fuck. He loves Fat Me. My fat ass, my fat gut, my chubby thighs and my big fat floppy tits.

To be continued.