Archive for March, 2011

Cock Extender

Thursday, March 24th, 2011

Last night I had a pretty fantastic experience. I got over Rod’s “fuck your fat ass” comment putting it down to the heat of the moment and he’s still doing it but I’ve just gotten used to it and there’s no denying I got a fat ass. hahaha But I am still losing weight, so mcuh so that I asked Rod if he would still go for me if I got skinny. Anything without dimples and skin folds is skinny to Rod. He said no he really “digs” me fat, medium or thin. But I dunno. I think he’s got a Fat Fetish or Rubenesque Fetish as he puts it.

Anyway Rod and I have been playing with my toy collection and I always get off when a guy likes to play with them. A lot of guys are threatened by them. Hahaha. Scared they will become redundant.  But Rod likes them.  We both love it when he fucks me in my cunt with a vibrator while he’s fucking me in the ass with his cock. I love that. I just feel so full of cock. Rod pushes his cock int o my ass as he slides the vibrator out of my cunt so his cock is going in as the vibrator is coming out, then the vibrator goes into my cunt as his cock is sliding out of my ass, then he’ll slide them both in together. Oh God.  I get wet just thinking about that.

I love it too when he licks my clit while he fucks me with a dildo. Oh yeah. And sometimes he fucks me in the ass and the cunt with dildos while he’s licking me. I’d love him to fuck me in the ass while he fucks my cunt with a dildo and lick my clit at the same time but he tells me that’s physically impossible. Hahaha

And sometimes he just fucks me with a dildo. On my back, on my hands and knees, on my side, all ways. Sometimes he just fucks my cunt, sometimes my asshole, sometimes both.  He likes me to suck my cunt juice off the dildo after he’s been fucking me with it.  Turns me on too. Rod just stares, gapes, really gets off on it.

Sometimes Rod straddles me facing my feet and sort of leans over and fucks me with a dildo and I reach around him and jerk him off. That always works really well. He loves me jerking him off while he’s dildo fucking me but he always cums very quickly doing that.

Sometimes we do like a 69 with me on top sucking him off while he dildo fucks me. He cums pretty quick doing that too but so do I. And sometimes I fuck myself with a dildo while he jerks off. That’s very hot. Oh yeah. Hahaha I had to take a second and touch my clit thinking of that. I sit back against the wall knees up and apart and fuck myself and he stands in front of me jerking off and cumming on my tits or my face, whatever, wherever. I really like doing that too.

But last night Rod had a surprise for me. A cock extender. What an amazing fucking thing. It’s like a huge condom but much thicker than a condom and it slides over a cock and at the front there’s about 4″ of silicon gel to make his cock about 4″ longer but get this, it’s 3″ thick. 3 fucking inches. Fucking huge. I was like so fucking fascinated by it but I felt I should tell him his cock is big enough but he was so excited about it that he didn’t seem to care about that.

Well, we just looked at it and checked it out for a while and when the time came to actually try it out for some reason we both felt a little embarrassed about it. Dunno why. Rod sort of hesitated about putting it on and there was an awkward moment. Until I said “Well, put it on and let’s see how it looks.

So Rod slid it onto his cock and pulled and stretched it until it was fitting nice and tight and then he stood back and said “whatya think?” I thought “fuck me, that looks fucking HUGE” and I wondered if it would even fit in me. Then I wished we had fucked a little first to limber up my cunt. But I was dripping wet. I always get wet when we try something new. Especially something different like this.

Rod’s cock is about 6 – 6 1/2″ long pretty average but it normally stands right up, like points slightly upwards when erect. With this thing on, the weight of it was dragging his cock down so it was pointing slightly downwards instead of up. Oh God, he looked so fucking GOOD though wiht this massive cock sticking out in front of him and the more I looked at it the more I wanted it IN ME.

I lay back on the bed, spread my legs wide apart and said “Fuck me, fuck me with your monster cock.” Rod stood at the side of the bed and pulled me towards him till my ass was right on the edge of the bed. I raised my legs up and spread them wide, bending my knees slightly.

It felt so huge when he pressed it against my cunt, big, blunt and way to big to go in my tight little cunt hole. He pressed and pressed and I wriggled my ass from side to side and thrust my pelvis forward onto it. We struggled like that for a while, Rod pressing forward, me wriggling from side to side and pushing forward and I slowly but surely felt it start to go in. I felt it pushing my cunt hole open, felt my cunt hole stretching, felt it’s blunt thickness change from pressure on the outside of my cunt to an outwards radiating pressure on the inside of my cunt.

It went in slowly and I sat up trying to get a look. It looked impossible. I wondered why they made it so thick. 2″ woulda been more than enough but getting a three inch thick cock in you really was a battle. He got the head in, it was a head just like a real cock, and then started slowly fucking me with just the head which is actually about half of the extra four inches. I knew it was OK the moment the stretching sensation stopped and was replaced by a FULL feeling in my cunt. I felt so FULL of cock.

He fucked me with just the 4 inch extension bit and i’ve fucked guys with big cocks before but none of them were 3 ” thick. This felt really new. I’ve seen those massive dildos but always thought they’d be more pain than pleasure. This was OK. A little bit uncomfortable but such a fucking turn on. I sat up and craned my neck and watched it going in and out fo my cunt. It looked so fucking HUGE. In, out, in out, just the extension. Oh yeah. After a few minutes it just felt GREAT. No pain, no discomfort. I loved the idea of this massive cock thing fucking me, the idea of Rod fucking me with a massive cock.

He fucked me with just the extension for a while then I told him to give it all to me. I told him to shove the whole thing in. He did. Fuck me. What a feeling. He just slid the whole thing in until he was in me right up to the hilt of his cock. He just slid it in nice and slow and I felt it filling my cunt, stretching it again and about halfway in it stopped and then he pressed harder and  i wriggled and thrust my hips and it went all the way in. He left it in me not moving for a moment and it was nearly taking my breath away. I felt full of cock before but now i felt beyond full. I felt rammed, crammed, chock a block with cock.

Then he started fucking me proper. Slowly at first then faster, faster and faster until he was fucking me flat out like a thrashing machine as he usually does.

The end of each thrust when it went in as far as possible actually hurt and pretty bad. Enough to cry out loud and try to push him away but Rod is relentless once he gets up to speed. There is no stopping him. The big blunt tip of the cock extender rammed into my cervix with each thrust and sent a jolt of pain reverberating through my body. Bit the pain came and went in a flash. Just a momentary interruption to a constant wave of pure fucking delightful pleasure that was wracking my body constantly. I loved it. I fucking loved it. I loved being fucked by that giant monster cock.

I went a little crazy, lost control a bit and was yelling out all crazy stuff. I remember saying “Fuck me with your horse cock”  “fuck me with your donkey cock”  “fuck me with your monster cock” and a lot of other crazy shit.

Right in the thick of it Rod suddenly grabbed me and flipped me over onto my stomach and yanked me up onto my hands and knees. My legs and arms felt a bit wobbly but I assumed the position and said something like “Mount me my big beautiful stallion.” Hahaha Sounds so funny now but at the time it sounded right.  Well, mount me he did. Like a fucking stallion. First attempt hit my asshole and I think I may have screamed this. “Not my fucking ass, not in my ass.” Panicking at the thought of that monster cock ripping my asshole open. But it was just bad aim apparently and it slid into my wet, dripping cunt and went all the way in, in one long powerful thrust.

The pain was unbelievable when it rammed home. It felt like my head was going to fly off and I crawled forward frantically, desperate to get away from that huge cock-thing. But as I said there’s no stopping Rod once he gets going and he dragged me back and rammed it back in. He got three painful deep hard thrusts in before I went crazy. I screamed and yelled at him to stop and I wriggled and broke free. “Not that way” I screamed at him, “It’s fucking killing me.”

He stopped for a second, looked confused, then flipped me back onto my back, dragged me to the edge of the ebd and started fucking me again like we had been before. It took me a little while to settle but then I was grabbing  him and yelling at him to fuck me harder, harder, deeper, faster, faster, yelling and screaming out loud and just generally going fucking crazy apeshit.

I came without warning feeling like my body had exploded. I arched my back, my legs went stiff and I moaned, groaned, screamed and cried. Rod tried to kiss me, thrusting my shoulders back down with his hands, his tongue momentarily down my throat, then on my lips, cheeks, nose, teeth crashing together painfully, lips mashing, then his strangled cry as he came and his body went rigid and with our faces crushed into each other he yelled and cried as he came with his monster cock deep inside my cunt, pressing my cervix up into my stomach.

It was a massive, amazing fuck. I took such a pounding I pissed a little. There was a big wet stain on the bed too big to be just cunt juice and it smelt like pee not cunt juice. I know cause I can’t smell my own cunt juice. But no wonder. I mean it was such a fucking pounding. My cunt is still tender. Not painful, just tender. It probably looks like bruised meat inside.

We both lay there for quite a while both of us exhausted. Sweating, panting, struggling for breath.

When Rod’s cock went slack I watched him slide the cock extender off. It just slid off when it was so tight before when his cock was hard. His porr little cock looked pathetic now. All smlal and limp where just ebfore it was magnificent. From 10″ to 2″ Hahaha. He held it over my tits and turned it inside out and smeared his cum over my tits. I just watched him do it too tired to move. Then I pushed my right tit up towards my mouth and leaned forward and sucked his cum off my nipple and my tit. He loves me doing that. He gets a gleam in his eye.

I fingered my cunt and it felt all sloppy and slushy.

Rod snuggled up beside me lying on his side as I lay on my back and he sucked my nipple and rubbed my tummy.  I held the tit he was sucking and squeezed it gently, the way you would when breastfeeding and he sucked my nipple like a baby. I like it when he does that. Sucks my tits like a baby. He likes to go to sleep doing that, sucking on my nipple. Maybe he’s got some unresolved Mother issues. Hahaha. But I like it. It feels so calming. So restful. Mildly erotic but mainly calming.

He was asleep in no time. But I lay awake thinking about getting fucked by his monster cock. I kept thinking about how big it was, how big it felt, how full I felt. And how it fucking hurt doggy style. It’s definitely a no go doggy.

I wondered what it felt like for him. Probably bigger on a psychological level than physical. Although there was a major psychological component to my feelings too, getting fucked by a monster cock like that. A few times I imagined I was actually being fucked by a horse. Imagine that. A horse with their giant fucking cocks. I’ve seen a  horse cock and seen horses fucking. I felt sorry for the mare even though she was big it was still a fucking big thing to go inside you.

I was happy too because I feel Rod and I are on the same wavelength. He’s no genius and no Brad Pitt but he’s a nice guy, good company and turning into an excellent fuck. He just needs a little refinement. To learn there are other speeds than flat out. Hahaha.

Skinny Me I Love

Sunday, March 13th, 2011

Fat Me. The Me I hate.

Fat Me. The Me I hate.

Skinny Me. The me I love.

Skinny Me. The Me I love.

I feel like shit today and these pictures are the reason why. I am Fat Me at the moment and I hate it. Even though I got a guy who is into Fat Chicks I’m still down because I know it’s not ME that he’s into he’s just into fat chicks. I hate being fat. And I’m fat most of the time. It’s only when I get really depressed, really anxious or more rarely really determined and exercise that I turn into Skinny Me.

I just find Fat Me disgusting. Fat, sloppy, wobbly, smelly and sweaty. And how I love Skinny Me. Sooo hot, so sexy, so fuckable.  When I am Fat Me and look in the mirror at my naked body I just want to throw up. But when I look at Skinny Me I get so excited and so turned on I can wank to orgasm just looking at myself. Hahaha. A peculiar combination of self-loathing and self-worship.

It’s funny and sad how you can be rolling along in a relationship, everything going good and then one little thing can totally fuck it up. One small action or something a guy says and everything is changed. There is no going back it’s changed forever.

Rod did it on Sat night. Small thing but it really got to me and now everything feels different. I usually like it when guys talk dirty during sex and nothing they say usually bothers me. I realize they are excited and say things without thinking. I know I do the same. Sometimes I say really disgusting things and go off like a whore. But Rod said something that cut really deep. Struck at the very core of me.

We were fucking with me standing up, leaning over gripping the window sill. I like it like that. Looking out over the street, watching the traffic and the occasional people walking by three stories below while I’m getting pounded from behind. So that was all good, when Rod decided to fuck me in the ass. I like it in the ass, but not so much with Rod. Rod only knows one style of cucking and that’s as hard and fast as he can and no matter how much I try to get him to take it easy fucking me up the ass he just can’t help it.

Actually the whole thing turned to shit. We were going great. I was loving his cock in and out of my cunt, my cunt was dripping with juice and he was ramming it into me. I was holding onto the window sill for dear life but it was great. Fantastic. He was grabbing my tits, my stomach and occasionally my clit while he fucked me from behind and I was loving all of it.

Then he says “I wanna fuck you up the ass.” and he stops. I hate it when a guy just stops fucking me like that. So I said “OK”.  But he was gone for ages looking for the lube and then fucking around doing god knows what. I really lost the moment. I was standing there still leaning on the window sill looking out and I could feel my cunt srying up and my mood leaving me the longer he was away. And I wasn’t too happy about he prospect of him ramming his cock up my ass the way he does.

He finally came back and I glanced over my shoulder to see him with his cock in one hand and the bottle of lube in the other and an idiot grin on his face. He looked so happy. I almost told him to fuckin hurry up. He just tried to ram his cock right in despite me telling him every single fucking time to take it easy. Bit at a time. But no he’s got this thing he has to just ram the whole fucking thing in at once. So it started bad.

He was grunting and ramming his cock at me, missing my asshole completely most of the time and I told him to slow down and take it easy. He did so I guided his slippery cock to my asshole and I pushed my ass back firmly but slowly and it went in no problem about a third of the way. Before he could start thrusting I said really loud. “Go slow. Tackle it easy.” And he did. For about 10 seconds. He slowly slid it in and then he was off like a fucking madman. It hurt. He didn’t care. Usually I can take it especially if I ma really turned on. But the way he asked me and the way he left me waiting there for so long had totally destroyed my mood.

So he was fucking me up the ass grunting like a pig and just ramming it in deep and hard and fast with no care for how i was feeling. I was so out of it.

Then when he’s really going for it he grabs my thighs and says

“I love fucking your fat ass.”

I froze but he didn’t even notice. My “fat ass?”

I was so demoralized. It just cut really deep. I hate my fat ass. I know it’s fat. It’s fat and disgusting. I am fat and disgusting and I don’t think I can keep going with a guy who love what I hate about myself.

But its so complicated. I really like him. Hes fun to be with, we do things together and I like just hanging out with him. And he’s a good fuck too. I love the way he just goes crazy and fucks me like a madman only not in my ass like that.  And I like having a boyfriend while I’m fat. Because normally fat me just stays at home and does nothing. Most guys aren’t interested in Fat Me. Ho, Skinny Me is a different story. Oh yueah. I never have trouble getting a guy when I’m skinny me, boyfriend or just a fuck. But nobody wants or likes Fat Me. Don’t blame them either.

Its really hard to get a guy whose a good fuck too. Really hard. Rod knows me and knows and understands what I like. He totally gets the cock sucking thing and most guys do not. I love to be the slut when I suck cock. To get on my knees and let them face fuck me until they cum in my mouth and I swallow. Rod got this straight away. That I like to suck his cock when he’s fully dressed. That I like him cumming in my mouth. That I like being on my knees. That I like getting my mouth fucked. In and out. Like a cunt. He gets all that.  He just knew the right things to say too. Like “Suck my cock, you slut.”  “Suck it, you cunt.” Oh God. That really gets me going. There’s much more too. But thing is he GOT IT.

And he gets cumming on my nipples and my other funny places. The small of my back, in between my ass cheeks, my stomach, my throat. Oh yeah. He gets all that. And the window thing. He gets that I lvoe looking oput the window while I’m getting fucked.

But now after this “fucking your fat ass” thing I just feel a bit flat about him.  Sunday I couldn’t fuck him during the day because I was terrified I would see my fat ass and throw up.

But now I’ve lost 3 lbs since i met Rod. And I think I am slowly turning back into Skinny Me and I think I want to be Skinny Me more than I want Rod. I think  I NEED to be Skinny Me again and forever.

I know Rod won’t like Skinny Me. He likes my fat too much. It’s like a Fat Fetish. And I am a different person when I’m Skinny Me. I’m more confident, more outgoing, wilder. Oh Yeah. And I fuck a lot more. Yes, Skinny Me is a bit of a slut. It just makes such a huge change to have guys pursuing me that I can’t resist. I want them to see how slim and sexy I am what a good fuck I am. How well this skinny body fucks.  I get very aggressive when I’m skinny.  Fat me just gets fucked, but Skinny Me does the fucking. I get on top of guys and pound THEM instead of them pounding me.  I push them around and tear their clothes and stick my finger up their ass to make them cum and to show them who’s the boss.

I know Rod wouldn’t like that. He likes to be in control. And he is with Fat Me.

So I dunno.